I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
