That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
