So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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