Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
