This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
