so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
