In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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