I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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