Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
