I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
