I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
