After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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