Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
