Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
