I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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