I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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