4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize