The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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