Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
