I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
