Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
