i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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