Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
