waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
