He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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