You're a womanizer and a bitch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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