guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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