He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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