shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
