Who did Billy Mays play for?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
