he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
