sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to sanitize my soul.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
