Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
