I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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