Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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