maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize