This girl is more easily done than said...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
