i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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