Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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