Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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