I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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