Everything about him screamed your future.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
