Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
