Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
