White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
