Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
