you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
