No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
