you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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