matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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