i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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