Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
