tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize