You're so nebulous sometimes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize