But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
