ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
