After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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