You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize