We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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