She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
