It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
