Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Still dying that you shit outside
Bring me that man meat
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
