My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
