What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
