No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize