just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
