saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
