Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
