Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize