I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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