Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
