I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and she was petting her beer can
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize