We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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